who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
