? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
