you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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