Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
