I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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