What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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