oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you would pick up someone in the library
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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