I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
