ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize
