My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Randomize
