Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
