She is in my trunk
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
