If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We have so much sex to catch up on
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
