I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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