This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
