dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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