my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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