Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
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