Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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