nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
