Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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