I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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