Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
