Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize