i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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