It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I bet he comes in French.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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