So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
