So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
