Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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