She is in my trunk
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
