just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize