There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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