I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My dick has a subreddit
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
