You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I want a musical about memes.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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