i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
