You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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