All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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