how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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