oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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