I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I party with great urgency now.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
