It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
wow bdsm is so cute
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
