Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
