That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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