i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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