i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I wear drunk well.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
