Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I will be naked everywhere
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
