another moral hangover. fuck.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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