i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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