How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
