this just has baby written all over it
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
