so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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