he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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