I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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