Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Of course I have a pirate flag
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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