Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
