I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
