I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
