Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
