so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize