Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
