hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
