The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
