Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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