Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
