This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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