Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
