I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
