You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Someone came in the potted fern
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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