From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
